7 reasons why Gardaí make horrific hackney drivers!!

Two nights ago I took a hackney home from class using my regular hackney. It was a newbie driver that was going to take me home now normally I treat newbies with kid gloves as it does take some time to get used to The Antique. But this guy was the exception to the rule:

1. Couldn't fold The Antique (in fairness its hard to do but he only tried for a few seconds).
2. Took a call from a friend  on the way and spent 15 minutes talking shit to him/her (he parked ).
3. Asked me if I seen his cap it was on  his head.
4. At my house he didnt have the cop on that I would need room to stand up onto The Antique. It took 5 attempts of moving the car to get it right.
5. On one of the attempts he nearly drove over The Antique.
6. Nearly fell when the car door hit me even though I asked him to hold the door for me he didnt!!
7. Did this weird whistling sound with his nose.

Yesterday I found out that it was his first and last night on the job apparently he was dozey throughout the whole night and got a right bollocking from the owner. Not only that but found out that  he was a retired Garda with two B&B's in town. Doesn't he not have enough euros to buy doughnuts??? He must have got his training at Chief Wiggum's Police Academy!!!!!!